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给初为父母的人的建议:初为父母你应该知道的16件事

即将为人父母还是刚刚迎来新生儿?父母们在那里,做了这件事,洗了脏兮兮的t恤,分享了他们第一次为人父母时希望知道的事情。看看他们为摆脱罪恶感、缓解压力和拥抱新父母带来的混乱提供的建议吧。

通过劳拉·威斯曼|最后更新,2021年7月14日

About to become a parent or recently welcomed a newborn? Parents who\u2019ve been there, done that and washed the sick-stained T-shirt share the things they wish they\u2019d known when becoming a parent for the first time. See their top tips for ditching the guilt, keeping stress at bay and embracing the chaos that comes with new parenthood.<\/p>","value":"

About to become a parent or recently welcomed a newborn? Parents who\u2019ve been there, done that and washed the sick-stained T-shirt share the things they wish they\u2019d known when becoming a parent for the first time. See their top tips for ditching the guilt, keeping stress at bay and embracing the chaos that comes with new parenthood.<\/p>"},{"meta_id":105696,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body","meta_value":"a:18:{i:0;s:7:\"content\";i:1;s:3:\"mpu\";i:2;s:7:\"content\";i:3;s:6:\"button\";i:4;s:7:\"content\";i:5;s:6:\"button\";i:6;s:5:\"image\";i:7;s:7:\"content\";i:8;s:5:\"image\";i:9;s:7:\"content\";i:10;s:6:\"button\";i:11;s:7:\"content\";i:12;s:5:\"image\";i:13;s:7:\"content\";i:14;s:3:\"mpu\";i:15;s:7:\"content\";i:16;s:6:\"button\";i:17;s:7:\"content\";}","value":["content","mpu","content","button","content","button","image","content","image","content","button","content","image","content","mpu","content","button","content"]},{"meta_id":105698,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_0_content","meta_value":"

Children don\u2019t come with an instruction manual and, as any parent will tell you, first-time parenting can be an overwhelming concoction of ethereal highs and challenging lows.<\/p>","value":"

Children don\u2019t come with an instruction manual and, as any parent will tell you, first-time parenting can be an overwhelming concoction of ethereal highs and challenging lows.<\/p>"},{"meta_id":751643,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_edit_last","meta_value":"12","value":"12"},{"meta_id":751644,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_expiration-date-status","meta_value":"saved","value":"saved"},{"meta_id":751645,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_edit_lock","meta_value":"1626273137:12","value":"1626273137:12"},{"meta_id":753830,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_meta_title","meta_value":"field_5ff8482f6b791","value":"field_5ff8482f6b791"},{"meta_id":753831,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_meta_description","meta_value":"field_5ff848406b792","value":"field_5ff848406b792"},{"meta_id":753832,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"metadata_do_not_allow_indexing","meta_value":"0","value":"0"},{"meta_id":753833,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_do_not_allow_indexing","meta_value":"field_60255d5f751c0","value":"field_60255d5f751c0"},{"meta_id":753834,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"metadata","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753835,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata","meta_value":"field_5fd3830066848","value":"field_5fd3830066848"},{"meta_id":753836,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"show_sponsored_content_disclaimer","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753837,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_show_sponsored_content_disclaimer","meta_value":"field_6070087df5508","value":"field_6070087df5508"},{"meta_id":753838,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_0_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753839,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_1_id","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753840,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_1_id","meta_value":"field_605356a45ac1b","value":"field_605356a45ac1b"},{"meta_id":753841,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_2_content","meta_value":"

So to help you navigate the new-parent minefield, we\u2019ve compiled a handy list of tips and advice from seasoned parents who\u2019ve been through it all.<\/p>

From seeking support to those must-have baby items parents wish they\u2019d discovered sooner, here are some helpful tips for new parents.<\/p>

1. Take time for yourself<\/h2>

A seemingly impossible task for any parent knee-deep in nappy changing and nursing, parents on the Mumsnet forums say it\u2019s imperative that first-timers, especially new mums, indulge in some much-needed me time.<\/p>

Whether that\u2019s nipping out for a quick coffee with a friend or just taking that long-overdue shower, looking after yourself and retaining some sense of normalcy following the lifestyle overhaul that parenting inevitably brings will be hugely beneficial in the long-run.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cLook after yourself. You are important too.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cIt's OK to want a break. Don\u2019t feel bad for taking time out to be you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon't become completely consumed by your newborn. You're your own person too. Even doing the food shopping by yourself can be self-care if it means you're concentrating on something else for a little while.\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":"

So to help you navigate the new-parent minefield, we\u2019ve compiled a handy list of tips and advice from seasoned parents who\u2019ve been through it all.<\/p>

From seeking support to those must-have baby items parents wish they\u2019d discovered sooner, here are some helpful tips for new parents.<\/p>

1. Take time for yourself<\/h2>

A seemingly impossible task for any parent knee-deep in nappy changing and nursing, parents on the Mumsnet forums say it\u2019s imperative that first-timers, especially new mums, indulge in some much-needed me time.<\/p>

Whether that\u2019s nipping out for a quick coffee with a friend or just taking that long-overdue shower, looking after yourself and retaining some sense of normalcy following the lifestyle overhaul that parenting inevitably brings will be hugely beneficial in the long-run.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cLook after yourself. You are important too.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cIt's OK to want a break. Don\u2019t feel bad for taking time out to be you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon't become completely consumed by your newborn. You're your own person too. Even doing the food shopping by yourself can be self-care if it means you're concentrating on something else for a little while.\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753842,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_2_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753843,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_label","meta_value":"Just released: Nike\u2019s first dedicated maternity range","value":"Just released: Nike\u2019s first dedicated maternity range"},{"meta_id":753844,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_label","meta_value":"field_5ff71419318af","value":"field_5ff71419318af"},{"meta_id":753845,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_type","meta_value":"external","value":"external"},{"meta_id":753846,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_type","meta_value":"field_602111f6cb5a9","value":"field_602111f6cb5a9"},{"meta_id":753847,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_external_url","meta_value":"https:\/\/www.nike.com\/gb\/w\/maternity-fl9s?CP=EUNS_AFF_AWIN_UK_78888_Skimlinks_300409&utm_source=Skimlinks&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=78888&utm_content=300409&awc=16327_1623770815_5387c9427dd3a53d974934fe0b11adad","value":"https:\/\/www.nike.com\/gb\/w\/maternity-fl9s?CP=EUNS_AFF_AWIN_UK_78888_Skimlinks_300409&utm_source=Skimlinks&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=78888&utm_content=300409&awc=16327_1623770815_5387c9427dd3a53d974934fe0b11adad"},{"meta_id":753848,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_external_url","meta_value":"field_5ff863f994faa","value":"field_5ff863f994faa"},{"meta_id":753849,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_no_follow","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753850,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_no_follow","meta_value":"field_6021224600001","value":"field_6021224600001"},{"meta_id":753851,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_click_id","meta_value":"content-button","value":"content-button"},{"meta_id":753852,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_click_id","meta_value":"field_6021122fcb5aa","value":"field_6021122fcb5aa"},{"meta_id":753853,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753854,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url","meta_value":"field_5ff7142f318b0","value":"field_5ff7142f318b0"},{"meta_id":753855,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_4_content","meta_value":"

2. Sleep whenever you can<\/h2>

Sleep may seem like a long-forgotten dream when going through life with a newborn, but, according to the NHS<\/a>, a lack of sleep can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health.<\/p>

While cleaning the house or doing the laundry may seem of paramount importance when your baby is finally napping, catching up on some zzzs, or simply just resting your eyes, should always be the number one priority.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cWith a newborn, if you have a choice between getting things done around the house while the baby is asleep or sleeping yourself, take the sleep option every time \u2013 you never know when the next chance will come!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cSleep when they sleep \u2013 an exhausted mum cannot function properly.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cTry to take a few naps with them each day to top you up for the night ahead. If you find it hard to sleep on demand or feel too tense to sleep, don\u2019t worry. Just rest and try listening to something relaxing on your headphones. I find ASMR videos on YouTube really de-stressing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

3. Don\u2019t be ruled by guilt<\/h2>

Most parents will tell you that guilt and parenting go hand in hand. And while it\u2019s perfectly normal to second-guess decisions and to experience bouts of occasional guilt, being plagued by it can actually be quite debilitating.<\/p>

So take some deep breaths, cut yourself some slack and know that you\u2019re doing a great job even though it may not feel like it. Ditching the guilt and celebrating the small wins is one of the first steps to becoming a better parent.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cI wish I\u2019d known not to stress about the small things, like housework, or feel guilty for cuddling my baby for naps.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t feel bad if you use jars\/pouches of baby food \u2013 not everyone has the time to batch cook and freeze tiny portions in ice cube trays.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cNever feel guilty for sitting on the sofa having cuddles and forgetting everything else. You can never get those days back and who really cares if the place looks a mess? If people make a comment, as some will, ignore it \u2013 your baby, your house, your rules.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cNo matter what you do for your baby\/child, you will always worry about what you are not doing. It\u2019s called maternal guilt. Just know that you are making the best decisions for your baby, yourself and your family.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

Which brings us to\u2026<\/p>

4. Trust your instincts<\/h2>

Easier said than done, of course, but Mumsnetters consider this to be one of the most important rules of thumb for any new parent.<\/p>

It may be tempting to take on every bit of advice that friends or family members who\u2019ve already had children throw at you, but trusting your gut can work wonders for stress levels and self-esteem.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cDo what works best for you and your baby. Other people won\u2019t always know best.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cI wish I'd known just to trust my instincts and not feel I had to take everyone's advice and do everything by the book. Such a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure. I was so much more chilled with our other DC.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cTake everything people advise you to do with a pinch of salt. You know your baby better than anyone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cEveryone does things differently and if you follow everyone's advice you will drive yourself insane. What works for one family may not work for yours.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019ll start doubting yourself over the silliest things only to give in and stop caring what others think and just roll with what works for you all as a family!\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":"

2. Sleep whenever you can<\/h2>

Sleep may seem like a long-forgotten dream when going through life with a newborn, but, according to the NHS<\/a>, a lack of sleep can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health.<\/p>

While cleaning the house or doing the laundry may seem of paramount importance when your baby is finally napping, catching up on some zzzs, or simply just resting your eyes, should always be the number one priority.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cWith a newborn, if you have a choice between getting things done around the house while the baby is asleep or sleeping yourself, take the sleep option every time \u2013 you never know when the next chance will come!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cSleep when they sleep \u2013 an exhausted mum cannot function properly.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cTry to take a few naps with them each day to top you up for the night ahead. If you find it hard to sleep on demand or feel too tense to sleep, don\u2019t worry. Just rest and try listening to something relaxing on your headphones. I find ASMR videos on YouTube really de-stressing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

3. Don\u2019t be ruled by guilt<\/h2>

Most parents will tell you that guilt and parenting go hand in hand. And while it\u2019s perfectly normal to second-guess decisions and to experience bouts of occasional guilt, being plagued by it can actually be quite debilitating.<\/p>

So take some deep breaths, cut yourself some slack and know that you\u2019re doing a great job even though it may not feel like it. Ditching the guilt and celebrating the small wins is one of the first steps to becoming a better parent.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cI wish I\u2019d known not to stress about the small things, like housework, or feel guilty for cuddling my baby for naps.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t feel bad if you use jars\/pouches of baby food \u2013 not everyone has the time to batch cook and freeze tiny portions in ice cube trays.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cNever feel guilty for sitting on the sofa having cuddles and forgetting everything else. You can never get those days back and who really cares if the place looks a mess? If people make a comment, as some will, ignore it \u2013 your baby, your house, your rules.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cNo matter what you do for your baby\/child, you will always worry about what you are not doing. It\u2019s called maternal guilt. Just know that you are making the best decisions for your baby, yourself and your family.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

Which brings us to\u2026<\/p>

4. Trust your instincts<\/h2>

Easier said than done, of course, but Mumsnetters consider this to be one of the most important rules of thumb for any new parent.<\/p>

It may be tempting to take on every bit of advice that friends or family members who\u2019ve already had children throw at you, but trusting your gut can work wonders for stress levels and self-esteem.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cDo what works best for you and your baby. Other people won\u2019t always know best.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cI wish I'd known just to trust my instincts and not feel I had to take everyone's advice and do everything by the book. Such a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure. I was so much more chilled with our other DC.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cTake everything people advise you to do with a pinch of salt. You know your baby better than anyone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cEveryone does things differently and if you follow everyone's advice you will drive yourself insane. What works for one family may not work for yours.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019ll start doubting yourself over the silliest things only to give in and stop caring what others think and just roll with what works for you all as a family!\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753856,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_4_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753857,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_label","meta_value":"Related: How to make mixed feeding work for you","value":"Related: How to make mixed feeding work for you"},{"meta_id":753858,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_label","meta_value":"field_5ff71419318af","value":"field_5ff71419318af"},{"meta_id":753859,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_type","meta_value":"internal","value":"internal"},{"meta_id":753860,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_type","meta_value":"field_602111f6cb5a9","value":"field_602111f6cb5a9"},{"meta_id":753861,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_internal_url","meta_value":"7303","value":"7303"},{"meta_id":753862,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_internal_url","meta_value":"field_5ff8640994fab","value":"field_5ff8640994fab"},{"meta_id":753863,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_click_id","meta_value":"content-button","value":"content-button"},{"meta_id":753864,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_click_id","meta_value":"field_6021122fcb5aa","value":"field_6021122fcb5aa"},{"meta_id":753865,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753866,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url","meta_value":"field_5ff7142f318b0","value":"field_5ff7142f318b0"},{"meta_id":753867,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_title","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753868,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_title","meta_value":"field_602a92c901c21","value":"field_602a92c901c21"},{"meta_id":753869,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_image","meta_value":"16065","value":"16065"},{"meta_id":753870,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941a","value":"field_5ff70e497941a"},{"meta_id":753871,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_text","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753872,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_text","meta_value":"field_60103b17570e9","value":"field_60103b17570e9"},{"meta_id":753873,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_width","meta_value":"full","value":"full"},{"meta_id":753874,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_width","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941b","value":"field_5ff70e497941b"},{"meta_id":753875,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753876,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e4979419","value":"field_5ff70e4979419"},{"meta_id":753877,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_7_content","meta_value":"

5. Expensive doesn\u2019t always mean better<\/h2>

When it comes to baby stuff, Mumsnetters recommend following the \u2018less is more\u2019 approach. With so many brands claiming to offer life-changing products, it can be hard to know what you need and, well, what you don\u2019t.<\/p>

Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules to making product selections, but second-, third- and even fourth-time parents suggest shopping around for products that fit you, your baby and your budget. This may mean opting for own-brand or secondhand items from time to time.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cI wish I\u2019d known that there was such a thing as own-brand nappies! Must have spent a small fortune on expensive ones.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cI didn\u2019t know that buying expensive branded nappies didn\u2019t automatically mean they were better until I discovered ALDI Mamia nappies. They cost far less and offer better protection for babies.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cBranded nappies, wipes and bath products are not necessarily better. Once I realised that, I completely switched to supermarket-own brands and never looked back.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon't buy expensive things! They use stuff for five seconds and don't even notice it. Secondhand is definitely best for everything except mattresses and car seats.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cSecondhand is just as good as new for baby clothes and at a fraction of the cost. Also borrow equipment from others (i.e. sterilisers) when you can.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

6. Babies don\u2019t need much<\/h2>

It might be tempting to furnish your baby\u2019s nursery with all the latest kit (and many new parents certainly enjoy this process) but, according to parents who\u2019ve spent a significant amount of time gearing up for a new baby, it isn\u2019t always necessary \u2013 and can sometimes be more hassle than it\u2019s worth.<\/p>

Yes, there are newborn essentials<\/a> that will make life easier, such as travel systems<\/a>, maternity bras<\/a>, breast pumps<\/a>, baby bottles<\/a> and nappies but, when it comes down to it, all a baby really needs is clothes, food and a comfy place to sleep.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cBabies need to be kept clean and comfortable, have somewhere safe to sleep, and to be fed and loved, which doesn't take shed loads of stuff. I'm a big fan of ALDI nappies, which last overnight, for this reason.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cDon't go overboard buying \u2018must-have' kit for your newborn. Most of it isn't necessary!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cYou need to buy so much less than you expect. Things like nappy bins and Moses baskets end up being used for such a small amount of time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cTake all the advice\/books\/articles\/expensive recommendations with a pinch of salt \u2013 your baby hasn't read them and doesn't care! As long as your baby is fed, clean (most of the time) and warm, you're doing all they need you to do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cYou don't need to waste money on all the latest equipment and gadgets that do everything apart from wipe a baby's bottom! They get shoved in a corner after the first two weeks.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

7. Muslins are handy for all eventualities<\/h2>

OK, so we may have said that a baby doesn\u2019t need much, and that\u2019s certainly true. But if there\u2019s one surprising thing that Mumsnetters have learnt over the years, it\u2019s that muslins are most definitely your friend, especially in those early months.<\/p>

What parents say:<\/h3>

\u201cMuslin cloths are a must! I remember wondering what exactly they were for before my baby was born, but immediately found them incredibly useful for a multitude of things \u2013 makeshift sunshade hung over the pram or car window, lining a car seat to make it cooler when the car was hot, lining a car seat to protect from poo leaks, swaddling, using in place of blanket in hot weather as well as over the shoulder to catch the milk vomit.\"<\/em><\/p>

\u201cHowever many muslins you have, it's not enough.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

Mumsnet-recommended muslins:<\/strong><\/p>

女人抱着打哈欠的婴儿

孩子们不会随身带一本指导手册,正如任何父母都会告诉你的那样,第一次为人父母可能是一种难以抗拒的混合物,其中既有飘渺的高潮,也有充满挑战的低谷。

广告

因此,为了帮助你在新父母的雷区中导航,我们从经历过这一切的经验丰富的父母那里收集了一份简便的建议清单。

从寻求支持到父母希望早点发现的必备婴儿用品,这里有一些对新父母有用的建议。

1.给自己留点时间

对于任何忙于换尿布和喂奶的父母来说,这似乎都是一项不可能完成的任务。在Mumsnet论坛上,家长们表示,初入职场的人,尤其是新妈妈们,有必要享受一些自己急需的时间。

无论是和朋友出去喝杯咖啡,还是冲个早该洗的澡,照顾好自己,保持一些正常的生活方式,从长远来看,养育孩子不可避免地带来的生活方式改革将是非常有益的。

父母说什么:

“照顾好自己。你也很重要。”

“想要休息一下是可以的。花时间做你自己,别难过!”

“不要完全被你的新生儿消耗掉。你也是你自己。即使是一个人买食物也可以是自我照顾,如果这意味着你可以暂时专注于其他事情。”

2.能睡就睡

在新生儿的生活中,睡眠似乎是一个被遗忘已久的梦,但是,根据英国国家医疗服务体系在美国,睡眠不足会对你的身体和心理健康产生负面影响。

虽然打扫房间或洗衣服似乎是最重要的事情,但当你的宝宝终于打了个盹,补个觉,或只是让你的眼睛休息一下时,应该永远是首要任务。

父母说什么:

“对于刚出生的婴儿来说,如果你可以在孩子睡着时做家务和自己睡觉之间做出选择,每次都要选择睡觉——你永远不知道下一次什么时候会来!”

“孩子睡着了就睡——一个疲惫的妈妈无法正常工作。”

“试着每天带着它们打几次盹,为接下来的夜晚补充能量。如果你发现很难按要求入睡或感到太紧张而无法入睡,不要担心。休息一下,试着用耳机听一些让你放松的东西。我发现YouTube上的自发性知觉经络反应视频真的很能减压。”

3.不要被内疚所左右

大多数父母会告诉你,内疚和为人父母是密不可分的。虽然事后猜测决定和偶尔经历内疚是完全正常的,但被内疚困扰实际上会让人相当虚弱。

所以,深呼吸几下,放自己一马,要知道你做得很好,尽管你可能感觉不到。放弃内疚,庆祝小的胜利是成为一个更好的父母的第一步。

父母说什么:

“我希望我知道不要为小事而感到压力,比如家务,或者抱着我的宝宝小睡而感到内疚。”

“如果你用罐装或袋装婴儿食品,也不要难过——不是每个人都有时间批量烹饪,并把一小部分冷冻在冰盒里。”

“永远不要因为坐在沙发上拥抱而忘记其他事情而感到内疚。那些日子一去不复返了,谁又会在乎这个地方看起来一团糟呢?如果有人发表评论,就像有些人一样,无视它——你的孩子,你的房子,你的规则。”

“无论你为你的孩子做了什么,你总是会担心你没有做什么。这叫做母性负罪感。你要知道,你正在为你的孩子、你自己和你的家庭做出最好的决定。”

这让我们想到……

4.相信你的直觉

当然,说起来容易做起来难,但是妈妈网的网友们认为这是所有新妈妈们最重要的经验法则之一。

你可能很容易接受已经有孩子的朋友或家人向你提出的每一点建议,但相信自己的直觉可以在压力水平和自尊方面发挥神奇的作用。

父母说什么:

“做对你和宝宝最有利的事。其他人并不总是最清楚的。”

“我希望我知道,只要相信自己的直觉,而不是觉得我必须接受每个人的建议,按书做每件事。这么多不必要的压力和压力。我和我们的另一个华盛顿人在一起要冷静得多。”

“对于别人建议你做的每件事,都要半信半疑。你比任何人都了解你的孩子。”

每个人做事情的方式都不一样,如果你听从每个人的建议,你会把自己逼疯的。适用于一个家庭的方法不一定适用于你的家庭。”

“你会开始怀疑自己在最愚蠢的事情上,只会屈服,不再关心别人的想法,只是做对你们全家都有用的事情!”

一男一女抱着一个刚出生的婴儿

5.昂贵并不总是意味着更好

当谈到婴儿用品时,妈妈网建议遵循“少即是多”的方法。有这么多的品牌声称提供改变生活的产品,很难知道你需要什么,什么不需要。

不幸的是,在选择产品方面并没有硬性规定,但是第二次、第三次甚至第四次做父母的人会建议你去挑选适合你、你的宝宝和你预算的产品。这可能意味着要时不时地选择自有品牌或二手商品。

父母说什么:

“我真希望我知道有这么个自有品牌的尿布!”一定花了不少钱买了很贵的。”

“在发现ALDI Mamia尿布之前,我并不知道买昂贵的品牌尿布并不一定意味着它们更好。它们成本低得多,能为婴儿提供更好的保护。”

“品牌尿布、湿巾和沐浴产品未必更好。一旦我意识到这一点,我就完全转向了超市自有品牌,再也没有回头。”

“不要买昂贵的东西!”他们用了五秒钟的东西,却没有注意到。二手货绝对是最好的,除了床垫和汽车座椅。”

“二手的婴儿衣服和新的一样好,而且价格是新的一小部分。如果可以的话,也可以从别人那里借一些设备(比如消毒器)。”

6.婴儿不需要太多

你可能想要为宝宝的托儿所提供所有最新的工具包(和许多新父母肯定喜欢这个过程),但根据父母已经花了大量的时间准备一个新的宝贝,它并不总是必要的,有时比值得更麻烦。

是的,有新生的必需品那会让生活更轻松,比如旅游系统孕妇文胸吸奶器婴儿奶瓶还有尿布,但说到底,婴儿真正需要的只是衣服、食物和一个舒适的睡觉的地方。

父母说什么:

“婴儿需要保持清洁和舒适,需要有安全的地方睡觉,需要被喂养和爱,不需要大量的东西。我是ALDI尿布的超级粉丝,因为这个原因,它可以持续一夜。”

“不要过分地为你的新生儿购买‘必备’装备。大部分都是不必要的!”

“你需要买比你预期少得多的东西。像尿布箱和摩西篮子这样的东西最终只被使用了很短的时间。”

“对所有的建议/书籍/文章/昂贵的推荐信都半信半疑——你的宝宝没读过,也不在乎!”只要你的宝宝吃饱了,干净了(大部分时间),还暖和了,你就能满足他们的需要。”

“你不需要把钱浪费在最新的设备和小玩意上,除了给婴儿擦屁股之外,它们什么都能做!”头两周后,他们就被逼到了墙角。”

7.在任何可能发生的情况下,穆斯林服装都很方便

好吧,我们可能会说,一个婴儿不需要太多,这当然是真的。但如果有一件事是妈妈网多年来学到的,那就是,薄纱绝对是你的朋友,尤其是在最初的几个月。

父母说什么:

“平纹棉布是必须的!”我记得不知道到底他们在我的孩子出生之前,但是马上发现他们众多的东西非常有用——临时遮阳悬挂在婴儿车或车窗,衬里汽车座位上,让它冷却热车时,衬砌汽车座位上,防止粪便泄漏,襁褓,在热天可以用来代替毯子,也可以从肩膀上方用来捕捉牛奶呕吐物。”

“不管你有多少棉布,都不够。”

Mumsnet-recommended纱布:

8.有很多方法可以让换尿布的混乱最小化(是的,我们是认真的)

换尿布可能是一团糟的代名词——想想他们头发上有屎,你脸上有尿,还有你甩不掉的婴儿湿巾。但是,如果有什么妈妈们希望在为人父母之前就知道的小贴士,那就是……

“你不用越过头顶就能脱下一件背心。把我从可怕的便便爆炸中救了出来!”

不客气

父母说什么:

“最重要的是,项圈背心可以向下拉取,而不是向上拉过头顶。真不敢相信我花了多长时间才意识到这一点!在处理尿片泄露的问题上完全改变了游戏规则。”

“大多数婴儿马甲都可以拉下来盖住身体。这样你就不会让宝宝的头发沾上爆炸性尿布了。”

大人的手托着小孩的脚

9.所有的婴儿都是不同的

对于任何新父母来说,看到自己的宝宝达到这些重要的里程碑都是令人兴奋的时刻,但这也会导致压力和恐慌,尤其是在其他父母不那么谦虚地吹嘘自己的孩子已经学会爬行或发现了他们的鼻子在哪里之后。

婴儿是他们自己的人,虽然担心他们的成长是很自然的事(更不用说他们睡了多少觉或没睡),但“妈妈网”们一致认为,比较从来都不是你的朋友。

父母说什么:

“孩子们做每件事都有自己的速度,你不应该把他们和同龄的其他孩子比较,然后担心你的孩子是不是落后了。”

“养育孩子是一场漫长的游戏。当人们开始比较他们的孩子和你的孩子的能力时,不要惊慌。所有的孩子都不一样,即使是双胞胎!”

“我希望我知道所有的婴儿都是不同的——有些睡得很好,有些睡得不好——你可以完全一样地对待他们,但无论如何他们都是自己的孩子。”

“不要为按时完成每一个里程碑而感到压力。你会想,‘哦,我的上帝,他们永远不会得到它,他们会落后!“但接下来你知道的是,你甚至都没有尝试,他们就开始这么做了。每个婴儿都有自己的学习速度。”

10.世上没有完美的父母

尽管Instagram上的名人账号会让你相信什么,但有一个清醒的,坦率地说,令人欣慰的事实是,没有完美的父母。

虽然你可能幻想着生下一窝美丽的、戴着光环的宝宝——更不用说生完孩子后马上就像凯特王妃一样——但养育孩子的现实将是完全不同的。

所以,对自己好一点,要知道你可以做错(毕竟还有很多要学的!),要意识到你做到最好肯定已经足够好了。

父母说什么:

“我期待完美,我期待知道一切,但实际上,我几乎崩溃了!”现在我会对自己好得多,我想这会让我少一些焦虑,多一些冷静,也会影响到我的小宝贝——尽管我总是烦躁不安,但他还是个小冠军!”

“我们并不是什么都知道。我们只是尽我们所能去创造它!”

“不完美也没关系。不管是因为我今天没穿衣服,房子里乱糟糟的,还是因为我们早餐吃了饼干,孩子们都很好。”

“只要他们有饭吃、有爱、有温暖、有衣服穿、保持干净舒适,而且有人照顾,作为一个有爱心、有爱心的父母,你就在做你能做的和需要做的一切。”

11.你可以对来访者说不

你从医院回来了你刚开始适应新父母的生活。然后你会遇到一个不可避免的问题:“我什么时候能见孩子?”

虽然你可能会感到有压力,让访客进入你的家,特别是兴奋的,第一次祖父母,妈妈网建议等几周,把你的新生儿介绍给家人和朋友。这将让你有时间去认真对待你新的父母责任,并让你把你和你的孩子的幸福放在第一位。

父母说什么:

“对来访者说不是可以的!”

“如果我能从头再来一次,我会礼貌地告诉妈妈不要每天在我需要睡觉的时候‘喝咖啡’。当我的孩子睡着的时候,我坐在那里聊天,但这样做让我的头三个月非常疲惫。”

“从第一天开始,就不要因为要和他们一起外出而感到压力。把它们拿出来可能会有点压力,在你了解它们的模式和节奏的时候冬眠几周是完全可以的。当你有第二个孩子的时候,这就更棘手了,但到那时,事情就不那么神秘了,你也知道自己在做什么。”

12.母乳喂养并不是对每个人都有效

母乳喂养这可能是你作为父母所能拥有的最有益的经历之一,让你有时间与你的宝宝建立一种强大的情感纽带,并提供一些重要的健康的好处

但这也可能是新妈妈们经历的最艰难的事情之一,会导致沮丧、眼泪和不适——更不用说乳房疼痛和乳头破裂了。

所以,虽然母乳喂养支持对那些正在挣扎的妈妈是有用的,但它并不适用于所有人,这没关系。

父母说什么:

“母乳喂养很难,有些建议是有用的,有些建议是非常有压力的,所以参与进来,‘什么对我有好处?“从第一天起就开始过滤!”

“在早期,当你们都在学习如何母乳喂养时,母乳喂养可能会很困难,但这并不意味着你做错了。”

“我希望我知道这没什么,事实上这很正常,整天或多或少地在沙发上母乳喂养!”

“不管你怎么努力,有些婴儿就是不愿母乳喂养。”

“不要强迫自己母乳喂养。如果你能做到,那太好了!如果你做不到,这并不会让你失去一个母亲的身份。”

“我希望我早知道,在最初的四个月里,我不需要哭泣和伤心,因为我必须花整个时间要么尝试母乳喂养,挤出母乳,制作配方奶粉,要么给我的孩子奶瓶。放弃母乳喂养和表达的尝试会让我和我的孩子更快乐。”

“当婴儿不愿意锁住时,可以使用乳头护罩。就在我快要放弃的时候,有人建议我尝试一下——游戏规则改变者!在使用了最初的几个月后,我的母乳喂养之旅已经进行了一年了。”

新生儿渗水的特写镜头

13.新妈妈们也会感到孤独

生孩子是一个人能经历的最能改变人生的事情之一。但是,当最初的蜂拥访客结束,你的伴侣回到工作岗位后,不断地换尿布,很少睡觉甚至不睡觉,可能会让人筋疲力尽,难以承受,这时,一种不适应、孤立和孤独的感觉就会开始悄悄袭来。

孤独可以影响人生的各个阶段,包括刚生完孩子的新妈妈。虽然谈论孤独可能仍然是一种禁忌,但它肯定并不罕见。

父母说什么:

“我希望我知道其他妈妈也感到孤独。第一次的时候我很孤立,缺乏在婴儿小组等场合开始对话的信心。”

“我希望我能知道我会感到多么的疲惫和孤独。你的整个世界都变了,你需要改变你的优先事项,这样孩子和他的需求才是第一位的。”

“我希望我能知道在最初几周我会哭多少次,这样做是可以的。”

14.不要害怕寻求帮助

在养育孩子的早期阶段,有时寻求帮助是很棘手的,从根本上说,要知道你什么时候可能需要帮助。

不管是有人主动给你倒杯茶,还是祖父母帮你照看一个小时,好让你自己上厕所或洗澡,各种各样的帮助都有,可能比你最初意识到的更有益。

父母说什么:

“如果你遇到困难,尽早接受你需要的帮助。这并不意味着你是个坏妈妈。”

“接受所有的帮助!”即使是有人主动给你泡杯茶。人们真的想帮忙。”

“我希望我早知道要接受别人提供的帮助。我没有这样做,结果筋疲力尽。”

15.要知道,这一切都会过去的

虽然大多数“妈妈网”用户称第一次为人父母对这个体系是一个巨大的冲击(这里没有糖份),但他们也承认,最终情况会好转。

还记得隧道尽头的那道光吗?当然,这也肯定存在于为人父母的过程中。

另外,有时候婴儿会哭,你对此无能为力。

父母说什么:

“最初的几周对整个系统来说是一个巨大的冲击,感觉我的整个世界都颠倒了。但它变得更好了。”

“我真希望我早知道,最初几个月会对整个系统造成如此巨大的冲击。我对一个几乎不断尖叫、挣扎着哺乳、挣扎着入睡的婴儿没有心理准备。这是残酷的,不是我所期待的完美的母亲形象。但我也希望自己知道困难是可以接受的,它会很快改变,在五个月大的时候,她会是一个快乐的、微笑的、快乐的婴儿,用奶瓶喂养,睡得好,用药物控制她的反流!”

“我希望我早知道,虽然这个阶段让人疲惫不堪,但它不会永远持续下去——他们会长大,事情会变得更好。”

“哭是很正常的事,妈妈也一样。其实是我的全科医生在我患第二型DC的时候告诉我的她说得太对了。我对我的第一个孩子说:“天哪,孩子在哭。我该怎么办?”

16.品味每一刻

最后,如果说世界各地的父母都学会了一件事,那就是拥抱养育孩子过山车的每一点细节。

广告

父母说什么:

“我真希望我能知道我会多么喜欢它!”不要误解我,这不是最简单的旅程,但我真的喜欢做一个母亲。当我怀孕的时候,我很担心,听到所有的产后抑郁症,不眠之夜和永无休止的责任。但是当我儿子出生的时候,我希望我没有这么担心!”

“享受午夜喂食吧。感觉就像你和孩子对抗整个世界,但眨眼间就过去了。”

“根本就没有什么溺爱孩子的事。享受这些拥抱吧——它们只有一次小。”

花点时间好好享受吧。也要忘记小事情。家务活总是要做的。他们不会。”

“这将是你做过的最困难的事,但也是你做过的最好的事。”

Baidu