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给初为父母的人的建议:初为父母你应该知道的16件事
即将为人父母还是刚刚迎来新生儿?父母们在那里,做了这件事,洗了脏兮兮的t恤,分享了他们第一次为人父母时希望知道的事情。看看他们为摆脱罪恶感、缓解压力和拥抱新父母带来的混乱提供的建议吧。
通过劳拉·威斯曼|最后更新,2021年7月14日
About to become a parent or recently welcomed a newborn? Parents who\u2019ve been there, done that and washed the sick-stained T-shirt share the things they wish they\u2019d known when becoming a parent for the first time. See their top tips for ditching the guilt, keeping stress at bay and embracing the chaos that comes with new parenthood.<\/p>"},{"meta_id":105696,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body","meta_value":"a:18:{i:0;s:7:\"content\";i:1;s:3:\"mpu\";i:2;s:7:\"content\";i:3;s:6:\"button\";i:4;s:7:\"content\";i:5;s:6:\"button\";i:6;s:5:\"image\";i:7;s:7:\"content\";i:8;s:5:\"image\";i:9;s:7:\"content\";i:10;s:6:\"button\";i:11;s:7:\"content\";i:12;s:5:\"image\";i:13;s:7:\"content\";i:14;s:3:\"mpu\";i:15;s:7:\"content\";i:16;s:6:\"button\";i:17;s:7:\"content\";}","value":["content","mpu","content","button","content","button","image","content","image","content","button","content","image","content","mpu","content","button","content"]},{"meta_id":105698,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_0_content","meta_value":"
Children don\u2019t come with an instruction manual and, as any parent will tell you, first-time parenting can be an overwhelming concoction of ethereal highs and challenging lows.<\/p>","value":"
Children don\u2019t come with an instruction manual and, as any parent will tell you, first-time parenting can be an overwhelming concoction of ethereal highs and challenging lows.<\/p>"},{"meta_id":751643,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_edit_last","meta_value":"12","value":"12"},{"meta_id":751644,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_expiration-date-status","meta_value":"saved","value":"saved"},{"meta_id":751645,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_edit_lock","meta_value":"1626273137:12","value":"1626273137:12"},{"meta_id":753830,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_meta_title","meta_value":"field_5ff8482f6b791","value":"field_5ff8482f6b791"},{"meta_id":753831,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_meta_description","meta_value":"field_5ff848406b792","value":"field_5ff848406b792"},{"meta_id":753832,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"metadata_do_not_allow_indexing","meta_value":"0","value":"0"},{"meta_id":753833,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata_do_not_allow_indexing","meta_value":"field_60255d5f751c0","value":"field_60255d5f751c0"},{"meta_id":753834,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"metadata","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753835,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_metadata","meta_value":"field_5fd3830066848","value":"field_5fd3830066848"},{"meta_id":753836,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"show_sponsored_content_disclaimer","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753837,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_show_sponsored_content_disclaimer","meta_value":"field_6070087df5508","value":"field_6070087df5508"},{"meta_id":753838,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_0_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753839,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_1_id","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753840,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_1_id","meta_value":"field_605356a45ac1b","value":"field_605356a45ac1b"},{"meta_id":753841,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_2_content","meta_value":"
So to help you navigate the new-parent minefield, we\u2019ve compiled a handy list of tips and advice from seasoned parents who\u2019ve been through it all.<\/p>
From seeking support to those must-have baby items parents wish they\u2019d discovered sooner, here are some helpful tips for new parents.<\/p>
1. Take time for yourself<\/h2>
A seemingly impossible task for any parent knee-deep in nappy changing and nursing, parents on the Mumsnet forums say it\u2019s imperative that first-timers, especially new mums, indulge in some much-needed me time.<\/p>
Whether that\u2019s nipping out for a quick coffee with a friend or just taking that long-overdue shower, looking after yourself and retaining some sense of normalcy following the lifestyle overhaul that parenting inevitably brings will be hugely beneficial in the long-run.<\/p>
What parents say:<\/h3>
\u201cLook after yourself. You are important too.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIt's OK to want a break. Don\u2019t feel bad for taking time out to be you!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't become completely consumed by your newborn. You're your own person too. Even doing the food shopping by yourself can be self-care if it means you're concentrating on something else for a little while.\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":" So to help you navigate the new-parent minefield, we\u2019ve compiled a handy list of tips and advice from seasoned parents who\u2019ve been through it all.<\/p> From seeking support to those must-have baby items parents wish they\u2019d discovered sooner, here are some helpful tips for new parents.<\/p> A seemingly impossible task for any parent knee-deep in nappy changing and nursing, parents on the Mumsnet forums say it\u2019s imperative that first-timers, especially new mums, indulge in some much-needed me time.<\/p> Whether that\u2019s nipping out for a quick coffee with a friend or just taking that long-overdue shower, looking after yourself and retaining some sense of normalcy following the lifestyle overhaul that parenting inevitably brings will be hugely beneficial in the long-run.<\/p> \u201cLook after yourself. You are important too.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIt's OK to want a break. Don\u2019t feel bad for taking time out to be you!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't become completely consumed by your newborn. You're your own person too. Even doing the food shopping by yourself can be self-care if it means you're concentrating on something else for a little while.\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753842,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_2_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753843,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_label","meta_value":"Just released: Nike\u2019s first dedicated maternity range","value":"Just released: Nike\u2019s first dedicated maternity range"},{"meta_id":753844,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_label","meta_value":"field_5ff71419318af","value":"field_5ff71419318af"},{"meta_id":753845,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_type","meta_value":"external","value":"external"},{"meta_id":753846,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_type","meta_value":"field_602111f6cb5a9","value":"field_602111f6cb5a9"},{"meta_id":753847,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_external_url","meta_value":"https:\/\/www.nike.com\/gb\/w\/maternity-fl9s?CP=EUNS_AFF_AWIN_UK_78888_Skimlinks_300409&utm_source=Skimlinks&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=78888&utm_content=300409&awc=16327_1623770815_5387c9427dd3a53d974934fe0b11adad","value":"https:\/\/www.nike.com\/gb\/w\/maternity-fl9s?CP=EUNS_AFF_AWIN_UK_78888_Skimlinks_300409&utm_source=Skimlinks&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=78888&utm_content=300409&awc=16327_1623770815_5387c9427dd3a53d974934fe0b11adad"},{"meta_id":753848,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_external_url","meta_value":"field_5ff863f994faa","value":"field_5ff863f994faa"},{"meta_id":753849,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_no_follow","meta_value":"1","value":"1"},{"meta_id":753850,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_no_follow","meta_value":"field_6021224600001","value":"field_6021224600001"},{"meta_id":753851,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url_click_id","meta_value":"content-button","value":"content-button"},{"meta_id":753852,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url_click_id","meta_value":"field_6021122fcb5aa","value":"field_6021122fcb5aa"},{"meta_id":753853,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_3_url","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753854,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_3_url","meta_value":"field_5ff7142f318b0","value":"field_5ff7142f318b0"},{"meta_id":753855,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_4_content","meta_value":" Sleep may seem like a long-forgotten dream when going through life with a newborn, but, according to the NHS<\/a>, a lack of sleep can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health.<\/p> While cleaning the house or doing the laundry may seem of paramount importance when your baby is finally napping, catching up on some zzzs, or simply just resting your eyes, should always be the number one priority.<\/p> \u201cWith a newborn, if you have a choice between getting things done around the house while the baby is asleep or sleeping yourself, take the sleep option every time \u2013 you never know when the next chance will come!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cSleep when they sleep \u2013 an exhausted mum cannot function properly.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTry to take a few naps with them each day to top you up for the night ahead. If you find it hard to sleep on demand or feel too tense to sleep, don\u2019t worry. Just rest and try listening to something relaxing on your headphones. I find ASMR videos on YouTube really de-stressing.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Most parents will tell you that guilt and parenting go hand in hand. And while it\u2019s perfectly normal to second-guess decisions and to experience bouts of occasional guilt, being plagued by it can actually be quite debilitating.<\/p> So take some deep breaths, cut yourself some slack and know that you\u2019re doing a great job even though it may not feel like it. Ditching the guilt and celebrating the small wins is one of the first steps to becoming a better parent.<\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known not to stress about the small things, like housework, or feel guilty for cuddling my baby for naps.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t feel bad if you use jars\/pouches of baby food \u2013 not everyone has the time to batch cook and freeze tiny portions in ice cube trays.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNever feel guilty for sitting on the sofa having cuddles and forgetting everything else. You can never get those days back and who really cares if the place looks a mess? If people make a comment, as some will, ignore it \u2013 your baby, your house, your rules.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNo matter what you do for your baby\/child, you will always worry about what you are not doing. It\u2019s called maternal guilt. Just know that you are making the best decisions for your baby, yourself and your family.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Which brings us to\u2026<\/p> Easier said than done, of course, but Mumsnetters consider this to be one of the most important rules of thumb for any new parent.<\/p> It may be tempting to take on every bit of advice that friends or family members who\u2019ve already had children throw at you, but trusting your gut can work wonders for stress levels and self-esteem.<\/p> \u201cDo what works best for you and your baby. Other people won\u2019t always know best.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I'd known just to trust my instincts and not feel I had to take everyone's advice and do everything by the book. Such a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure. I was so much more chilled with our other DC.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTake everything people advise you to do with a pinch of salt. You know your baby better than anyone.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cEveryone does things differently and if you follow everyone's advice you will drive yourself insane. What works for one family may not work for yours.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou\u2019ll start doubting yourself over the silliest things only to give in and stop caring what others think and just roll with what works for you all as a family!\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":" Sleep may seem like a long-forgotten dream when going through life with a newborn, but, according to the NHS<\/a>, a lack of sleep can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health.<\/p> While cleaning the house or doing the laundry may seem of paramount importance when your baby is finally napping, catching up on some zzzs, or simply just resting your eyes, should always be the number one priority.<\/p> \u201cWith a newborn, if you have a choice between getting things done around the house while the baby is asleep or sleeping yourself, take the sleep option every time \u2013 you never know when the next chance will come!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cSleep when they sleep \u2013 an exhausted mum cannot function properly.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTry to take a few naps with them each day to top you up for the night ahead. If you find it hard to sleep on demand or feel too tense to sleep, don\u2019t worry. Just rest and try listening to something relaxing on your headphones. I find ASMR videos on YouTube really de-stressing.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Most parents will tell you that guilt and parenting go hand in hand. And while it\u2019s perfectly normal to second-guess decisions and to experience bouts of occasional guilt, being plagued by it can actually be quite debilitating.<\/p> So take some deep breaths, cut yourself some slack and know that you\u2019re doing a great job even though it may not feel like it. Ditching the guilt and celebrating the small wins is one of the first steps to becoming a better parent.<\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known not to stress about the small things, like housework, or feel guilty for cuddling my baby for naps.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t feel bad if you use jars\/pouches of baby food \u2013 not everyone has the time to batch cook and freeze tiny portions in ice cube trays.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNever feel guilty for sitting on the sofa having cuddles and forgetting everything else. You can never get those days back and who really cares if the place looks a mess? If people make a comment, as some will, ignore it \u2013 your baby, your house, your rules.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNo matter what you do for your baby\/child, you will always worry about what you are not doing. It\u2019s called maternal guilt. Just know that you are making the best decisions for your baby, yourself and your family.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Which brings us to\u2026<\/p> Easier said than done, of course, but Mumsnetters consider this to be one of the most important rules of thumb for any new parent.<\/p> It may be tempting to take on every bit of advice that friends or family members who\u2019ve already had children throw at you, but trusting your gut can work wonders for stress levels and self-esteem.<\/p> \u201cDo what works best for you and your baby. Other people won\u2019t always know best.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I'd known just to trust my instincts and not feel I had to take everyone's advice and do everything by the book. Such a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure. I was so much more chilled with our other DC.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTake everything people advise you to do with a pinch of salt. You know your baby better than anyone.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cEveryone does things differently and if you follow everyone's advice you will drive yourself insane. What works for one family may not work for yours.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou\u2019ll start doubting yourself over the silliest things only to give in and stop caring what others think and just roll with what works for you all as a family!\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753856,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_4_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753857,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_label","meta_value":"Related: How to make mixed feeding work for you","value":"Related: How to make mixed feeding work for you"},{"meta_id":753858,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_label","meta_value":"field_5ff71419318af","value":"field_5ff71419318af"},{"meta_id":753859,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_type","meta_value":"internal","value":"internal"},{"meta_id":753860,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_type","meta_value":"field_602111f6cb5a9","value":"field_602111f6cb5a9"},{"meta_id":753861,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_internal_url","meta_value":"7303","value":"7303"},{"meta_id":753862,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_internal_url","meta_value":"field_5ff8640994fab","value":"field_5ff8640994fab"},{"meta_id":753863,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url_click_id","meta_value":"content-button","value":"content-button"},{"meta_id":753864,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url_click_id","meta_value":"field_6021122fcb5aa","value":"field_6021122fcb5aa"},{"meta_id":753865,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_5_url","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753866,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_5_url","meta_value":"field_5ff7142f318b0","value":"field_5ff7142f318b0"},{"meta_id":753867,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_title","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753868,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_title","meta_value":"field_602a92c901c21","value":"field_602a92c901c21"},{"meta_id":753869,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_image","meta_value":"16065","value":"16065"},{"meta_id":753870,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941a","value":"field_5ff70e497941a"},{"meta_id":753871,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_text","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753872,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_text","meta_value":"field_60103b17570e9","value":"field_60103b17570e9"},{"meta_id":753873,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image_width","meta_value":"full","value":"full"},{"meta_id":753874,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image_width","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941b","value":"field_5ff70e497941b"},{"meta_id":753875,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_6_image","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753876,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_6_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e4979419","value":"field_5ff70e4979419"},{"meta_id":753877,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_7_content","meta_value":" When it comes to baby stuff, Mumsnetters recommend following the \u2018less is more\u2019 approach. With so many brands claiming to offer life-changing products, it can be hard to know what you need and, well, what you don\u2019t.<\/p> Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules to making product selections, but second-, third- and even fourth-time parents suggest shopping around for products that fit you, your baby and your budget. This may mean opting for own-brand or secondhand items from time to time.<\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that there was such a thing as own-brand nappies! Must have spent a small fortune on expensive ones.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI didn\u2019t know that buying expensive branded nappies didn\u2019t automatically mean they were better until I discovered ALDI Mamia nappies. They cost far less and offer better protection for babies.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cBranded nappies, wipes and bath products are not necessarily better. Once I realised that, I completely switched to supermarket-own brands and never looked back.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't buy expensive things! They use stuff for five seconds and don't even notice it. Secondhand is definitely best for everything except mattresses and car seats.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cSecondhand is just as good as new for baby clothes and at a fraction of the cost. Also borrow equipment from others (i.e. sterilisers) when you can.\u201d<\/em><\/p> It might be tempting to furnish your baby\u2019s nursery with all the latest kit (and many new parents certainly enjoy this process) but, according to parents who\u2019ve spent a significant amount of time gearing up for a new baby, it isn\u2019t always necessary \u2013 and can sometimes be more hassle than it\u2019s worth.<\/p> Yes, there are newborn essentials<\/a> that will make life easier, such as travel systems<\/a>, maternity bras<\/a>, breast pumps<\/a>, baby bottles<\/a> and nappies but, when it comes down to it, all a baby really needs is clothes, food and a comfy place to sleep.<\/p> \u201cBabies need to be kept clean and comfortable, have somewhere safe to sleep, and to be fed and loved, which doesn't take shed loads of stuff. I'm a big fan of ALDI nappies, which last overnight, for this reason.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't go overboard buying \u2018must-have' kit for your newborn. Most of it isn't necessary!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou need to buy so much less than you expect. Things like nappy bins and Moses baskets end up being used for such a small amount of time.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTake all the advice\/books\/articles\/expensive recommendations with a pinch of salt \u2013 your baby hasn't read them and doesn't care! As long as your baby is fed, clean (most of the time) and warm, you're doing all they need you to do.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou don't need to waste money on all the latest equipment and gadgets that do everything apart from wipe a baby's bottom! They get shoved in a corner after the first two weeks.\u201d<\/em><\/p> OK, so we may have said that a baby doesn\u2019t need much, and that\u2019s certainly true. But if there\u2019s one surprising thing that Mumsnetters have learnt over the years, it\u2019s that muslins are most definitely your friend, especially in those early months.<\/p> \u201cMuslin cloths are a must! I remember wondering what exactly they were for before my baby was born, but immediately found them incredibly useful for a multitude of things \u2013 makeshift sunshade hung over the pram or car window, lining a car seat to make it cooler when the car was hot, lining a car seat to protect from poo leaks, swaddling, using in place of blanket in hot weather as well as over the shoulder to catch the milk vomit.\"<\/em><\/p> \u201cHowever many muslins you have, it's not enough.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Mumsnet-recommended muslins:<\/strong><\/p> Nappy changing may be synonymous with mess \u2013 think poo in their hair, wee in your face, and more baby wipes than you can shake a stick at. But, if there\u2019s one tip Mumsnetters wish they\u2019d known before becoming parents, it\u2019s this\u2026<\/p> \u201cThat you could take a vest off without going over the head. Saved me from some awful poo explosions!\u201d<\/em><\/p> You\u2019re welcome.<\/p> \u201cBiggest thing is that envelope-neck vests can be pulled down to remove rather than up over head. Can't believe how long it took for me to realise this! Total game-changer when dealing with a leaked nappy.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cMost baby vests can be pulled down over the body to get off. This saves you from getting the contents of an explosive nappy in your baby's hair.\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":" When it comes to baby stuff, Mumsnetters recommend following the \u2018less is more\u2019 approach. With so many brands claiming to offer life-changing products, it can be hard to know what you need and, well, what you don\u2019t.<\/p> Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules to making product selections, but second-, third- and even fourth-time parents suggest shopping around for products that fit you, your baby and your budget. This may mean opting for own-brand or secondhand items from time to time.<\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that there was such a thing as own-brand nappies! Must have spent a small fortune on expensive ones.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI didn\u2019t know that buying expensive branded nappies didn\u2019t automatically mean they were better until I discovered ALDI Mamia nappies. They cost far less and offer better protection for babies.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cBranded nappies, wipes and bath products are not necessarily better. Once I realised that, I completely switched to supermarket-own brands and never looked back.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't buy expensive things! They use stuff for five seconds and don't even notice it. Secondhand is definitely best for everything except mattresses and car seats.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cSecondhand is just as good as new for baby clothes and at a fraction of the cost. Also borrow equipment from others (i.e. sterilisers) when you can.\u201d<\/em><\/p> It might be tempting to furnish your baby\u2019s nursery with all the latest kit (and many new parents certainly enjoy this process) but, according to parents who\u2019ve spent a significant amount of time gearing up for a new baby, it isn\u2019t always necessary \u2013 and can sometimes be more hassle than it\u2019s worth.<\/p> Yes, there are newborn essentials<\/a> that will make life easier, such as travel systems<\/a>, maternity bras<\/a>, breast pumps<\/a>, baby bottles<\/a> and nappies but, when it comes down to it, all a baby really needs is clothes, food and a comfy place to sleep.<\/p> \u201cBabies need to be kept clean and comfortable, have somewhere safe to sleep, and to be fed and loved, which doesn't take shed loads of stuff. I'm a big fan of ALDI nappies, which last overnight, for this reason.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon't go overboard buying \u2018must-have' kit for your newborn. Most of it isn't necessary!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou need to buy so much less than you expect. Things like nappy bins and Moses baskets end up being used for such a small amount of time.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTake all the advice\/books\/articles\/expensive recommendations with a pinch of salt \u2013 your baby hasn't read them and doesn't care! As long as your baby is fed, clean (most of the time) and warm, you're doing all they need you to do.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cYou don't need to waste money on all the latest equipment and gadgets that do everything apart from wipe a baby's bottom! They get shoved in a corner after the first two weeks.\u201d<\/em><\/p> OK, so we may have said that a baby doesn\u2019t need much, and that\u2019s certainly true. But if there\u2019s one surprising thing that Mumsnetters have learnt over the years, it\u2019s that muslins are most definitely your friend, especially in those early months.<\/p> \u201cMuslin cloths are a must! I remember wondering what exactly they were for before my baby was born, but immediately found them incredibly useful for a multitude of things \u2013 makeshift sunshade hung over the pram or car window, lining a car seat to make it cooler when the car was hot, lining a car seat to protect from poo leaks, swaddling, using in place of blanket in hot weather as well as over the shoulder to catch the milk vomit.\"<\/em><\/p> \u201cHowever many muslins you have, it's not enough.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Mumsnet-recommended muslins:<\/strong><\/p> Nappy changing may be synonymous with mess \u2013 think poo in their hair, wee in your face, and more baby wipes than you can shake a stick at. But, if there\u2019s one tip Mumsnetters wish they\u2019d known before becoming parents, it\u2019s this\u2026<\/p> \u201cThat you could take a vest off without going over the head. Saved me from some awful poo explosions!\u201d<\/em><\/p> You\u2019re welcome.<\/p> \u201cBiggest thing is that envelope-neck vests can be pulled down to remove rather than up over head. Can't believe how long it took for me to realise this! Total game-changer when dealing with a leaked nappy.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cMost baby vests can be pulled down over the body to get off. This saves you from getting the contents of an explosive nappy in your baby's hair.\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753878,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_7_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753879,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_8_title","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753880,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_8_title","meta_value":"field_602a92c901c21","value":"field_602a92c901c21"},{"meta_id":753881,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_8_image_image","meta_value":"16066","value":"16066"},{"meta_id":753882,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_8_image_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941a","value":"field_5ff70e497941a"},{"meta_id":753883,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_8_image_text","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753884,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_8_image_text","meta_value":"field_60103b17570e9","value":"field_60103b17570e9"},{"meta_id":753885,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_8_image_width","meta_value":"full","value":"full"},{"meta_id":753886,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_8_image_width","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941b","value":"field_5ff70e497941b"},{"meta_id":753887,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_8_image","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753888,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_8_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e4979419","value":"field_5ff70e4979419"},{"meta_id":753889,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_9_content","meta_value":" Seeing your baby hit those all-important milestones is an exciting time for any new parent, but it\u2019s one that can also result in stress and panic, especially in the wake of not-so-humble brags from other parents whose child has already learnt to crawl or discovered where their nose is.<\/p> Babies are their own people and, while it\u2019s only natural to worry about their development (not to mention how much they are sleeping or not sleeping), the resounding agreement among Mumsnetters is that comparisons are never your friend.<\/p> \u201cBabies do everything at their own rate and you shouldn't compare them to other babies the same age and then worry if your baby is behind.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cParenting is a long game. Don\u2019t panic when people start comparing what their babies can do with yours. All children are different, even twins!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I had known that all babies are different \u2013 some sleep well, some don't \u2013 you can treat them both exactly the same, but they will be their own little person regardless.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t stress about hitting every milestone on time. You think, \u2018Oh my god, they're never going to get it and they're going to be behind!\u2019 But the next thing you know they're doing it without you even trying. Every baby picks things up at their own rate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":" Seeing your baby hit those all-important milestones is an exciting time for any new parent, but it\u2019s one that can also result in stress and panic, especially in the wake of not-so-humble brags from other parents whose child has already learnt to crawl or discovered where their nose is.<\/p> Babies are their own people and, while it\u2019s only natural to worry about their development (not to mention how much they are sleeping or not sleeping), the resounding agreement among Mumsnetters is that comparisons are never your friend.<\/p> \u201cBabies do everything at their own rate and you shouldn't compare them to other babies the same age and then worry if your baby is behind.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cParenting is a long game. Don\u2019t panic when people start comparing what their babies can do with yours. All children are different, even twins!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I had known that all babies are different \u2013 some sleep well, some don't \u2013 you can treat them both exactly the same, but they will be their own little person regardless.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t stress about hitting every milestone on time. You think, \u2018Oh my god, they're never going to get it and they're going to be behind!\u2019 But the next thing you know they're doing it without you even trying. Every baby picks things up at their own rate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753890,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_9_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753891,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_10_label","meta_value":"Related: Chart your child\u2019s progress with our child development calendar ","value":"Related: Chart your child\u2019s progress with our child development calendar "},{"meta_id":753892,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_10_label","meta_value":"field_5ff71419318af","value":"field_5ff71419318af"},{"meta_id":753893,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_10_url_type","meta_value":"internal","value":"internal"},{"meta_id":753894,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_10_url_type","meta_value":"field_602111f6cb5a9","value":"field_602111f6cb5a9"},{"meta_id":753895,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_10_url_internal_url","meta_value":"7127","value":"7127"},{"meta_id":753896,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_10_url_internal_url","meta_value":"field_5ff8640994fab","value":"field_5ff8640994fab"},{"meta_id":753897,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_10_url_click_id","meta_value":"content-button","value":"content-button"},{"meta_id":753898,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_10_url_click_id","meta_value":"field_6021122fcb5aa","value":"field_6021122fcb5aa"},{"meta_id":753899,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_10_url","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753900,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_10_url","meta_value":"field_5ff7142f318b0","value":"field_5ff7142f318b0"},{"meta_id":753901,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_11_content","meta_value":" Despite what celebrity Instagram accounts will have you believe, one sobering and, quite frankly, relieving fact is that there\u2019s no such thing as perfect parenting.<\/p> While you may have visions of creating a beautiful, halo-crowned brood \u2013 not to mention looking like Kate immediately after giving birth \u2013 the reality of parenting will, unsurprisingly, be quite different.<\/p> So be kind to yourself, know that you\u2019re allowed to get it wrong (there\u2019s a lot to learn after all!), and realise that your best is most certainly good enough.<\/p> \u201cI expected perfection and I expected to know it all but, in reality, I nearly fell apart! I would be a lot kinder to myself now and I think that would have led to me being a lot less anxious, more calm and would have rubbed off on my little man too \u2013 although he was a little champion despite my constant fretting!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cWe don\u2019t know everything. We just make it up as we go along as best we can!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIt's OK to not be perfect. Whether it's that I haven't got dressed today, the house is a mess or we ate biscuits for breakfast, the kids are fine.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cAs long as they are being fed, loved, snuggled, clothed, kept clean and comfortable, and generally attended to, you are doing everything you can and everything you need to do as a loving, caring parent.\u201d<\/em><\/p> You\u2019ve arrived home from the hospital. You\u2019re just settling into life as a new parent. Then you receive that inevitable question: \u201cWhen can I see the baby?\u201d<\/p> While you may feel pressured to allow visitors into your home, especially excited, first-time grandparents, Mumsnetters recommend waiting a few weeks before introducing your newborn to family and friends. This will allow you time to get to grips with your new parental responsibilities and allow you to put the wellbeing of you and your baby first.<\/p> \u201cIt's OK to say no to visitors!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIf I was to do it all again, I\u2019d politely tell my mum not to come 'for a coffee' every day when I needed to sleep. I was sitting chatting while my baby was asleep, but doing this made my first three months pretty exhausting.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t feel pressure to go out and about with them from day one. It can be a bit stressful taking them out and it\u2019s perfectly OK to hibernate for a few weeks while you get to know their patterns and rhythms. This is trickier when you have your second child but, by then, things are less mysterious and you know what you are doing more.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Breastfeeding<\/a> can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have as a parent, allowing you time to build a strong emotional bond with your baby as well as providing some important health benefits<\/a>.<\/p> But it can also be one of the hardest things new mums go through, leading to frustration, tears and discomfort \u2013 not to mention painful breasts and cracked nipples.<\/p> So, while breastfeeding support is available for mums who are struggling, it doesn\u2019t work for everyone and that\u2019s OK.<\/p> \u201cBreastfeeding is hard, and some advice is helpful and some is downright stressful, so engage that 'what is good for me?' filter from day one!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cBreastfeeding can be difficult in the early days when you're both learning how to do it, but that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that it\u2019s fine, in fact it\u2019s normal, to spend a whole day\/days on the sofa breastfeeding more or less constantly!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNo matter how hard you try, some babies just won't breastfeed.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t put pressure on yourself to breastfeed. If you can do it, great! If you can't, it doesn't make you less of a mum.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that I didn't need to spend the first four months in tears and upset because I had to spend the whole time either trying to breastfeed, expressing breast milk, making formula or giving my baby a bottle. Ditching the attempts to breastfeed and express would have made both me and my baby a lot happier.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNipple shields can be used when the baby just won't latch. I was so close to giving up after five days when someone suggested trying them \u2013 game-changer! I am now a year into my breastfeeding journey after using them for the first few months.\u201d<\/em><\/p>","value":" Despite what celebrity Instagram accounts will have you believe, one sobering and, quite frankly, relieving fact is that there\u2019s no such thing as perfect parenting.<\/p> While you may have visions of creating a beautiful, halo-crowned brood \u2013 not to mention looking like Kate immediately after giving birth \u2013 the reality of parenting will, unsurprisingly, be quite different.<\/p> So be kind to yourself, know that you\u2019re allowed to get it wrong (there\u2019s a lot to learn after all!), and realise that your best is most certainly good enough.<\/p> \u201cI expected perfection and I expected to know it all but, in reality, I nearly fell apart! I would be a lot kinder to myself now and I think that would have led to me being a lot less anxious, more calm and would have rubbed off on my little man too \u2013 although he was a little champion despite my constant fretting!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cWe don\u2019t know everything. We just make it up as we go along as best we can!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIt's OK to not be perfect. Whether it's that I haven't got dressed today, the house is a mess or we ate biscuits for breakfast, the kids are fine.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cAs long as they are being fed, loved, snuggled, clothed, kept clean and comfortable, and generally attended to, you are doing everything you can and everything you need to do as a loving, caring parent.\u201d<\/em><\/p> You\u2019ve arrived home from the hospital. You\u2019re just settling into life as a new parent. Then you receive that inevitable question: \u201cWhen can I see the baby?\u201d<\/p> While you may feel pressured to allow visitors into your home, especially excited, first-time grandparents, Mumsnetters recommend waiting a few weeks before introducing your newborn to family and friends. This will allow you time to get to grips with your new parental responsibilities and allow you to put the wellbeing of you and your baby first.<\/p> \u201cIt's OK to say no to visitors!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cIf I was to do it all again, I\u2019d politely tell my mum not to come 'for a coffee' every day when I needed to sleep. I was sitting chatting while my baby was asleep, but doing this made my first three months pretty exhausting.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t feel pressure to go out and about with them from day one. It can be a bit stressful taking them out and it\u2019s perfectly OK to hibernate for a few weeks while you get to know their patterns and rhythms. This is trickier when you have your second child but, by then, things are less mysterious and you know what you are doing more.\u201d<\/em><\/p> Breastfeeding<\/a> can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have as a parent, allowing you time to build a strong emotional bond with your baby as well as providing some important health benefits<\/a>.<\/p> But it can also be one of the hardest things new mums go through, leading to frustration, tears and discomfort \u2013 not to mention painful breasts and cracked nipples.<\/p> So, while breastfeeding support is available for mums who are struggling, it doesn\u2019t work for everyone and that\u2019s OK.<\/p> \u201cBreastfeeding is hard, and some advice is helpful and some is downright stressful, so engage that 'what is good for me?' filter from day one!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cBreastfeeding can be difficult in the early days when you're both learning how to do it, but that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that it\u2019s fine, in fact it\u2019s normal, to spend a whole day\/days on the sofa breastfeeding more or less constantly!\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNo matter how hard you try, some babies just won't breastfeed.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cDon\u2019t put pressure on yourself to breastfeed. If you can do it, great! If you can't, it doesn't make you less of a mum.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known that I didn't need to spend the first four months in tears and upset because I had to spend the whole time either trying to breastfeed, expressing breast milk, making formula or giving my baby a bottle. Ditching the attempts to breastfeed and express would have made both me and my baby a lot happier.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cNipple shields can be used when the baby just won't latch. I was so close to giving up after five days when someone suggested trying them \u2013 game-changer! I am now a year into my breastfeeding journey after using them for the first few months.\u201d<\/em><\/p>"},{"meta_id":753902,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_11_content","meta_value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35","value":"field_5ff5e32e00b35"},{"meta_id":753903,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_12_title","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753904,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_12_title","meta_value":"field_602a92c901c21","value":"field_602a92c901c21"},{"meta_id":753905,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_12_image_image","meta_value":"16067","value":"16067"},{"meta_id":753906,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_12_image_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941a","value":"field_5ff70e497941a"},{"meta_id":753907,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_12_image_text","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753908,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_12_image_text","meta_value":"field_60103b17570e9","value":"field_60103b17570e9"},{"meta_id":753909,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_12_image_width","meta_value":"full","value":"full"},{"meta_id":753910,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_12_image_width","meta_value":"field_5ff70e497941b","value":"field_5ff70e497941b"},{"meta_id":753911,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_12_image","meta_value":"","value":""},{"meta_id":753912,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"_body_12_image","meta_value":"field_5ff70e4979419","value":"field_5ff70e4979419"},{"meta_id":753913,"post_id":7008,"meta_key":"body_13_content","meta_value":" Having a new baby is one of the most life-changing things a person can go through. But after the initial rush of visitors has come to an end and your partner is back at work, the continual nappy changes and feeds on little to no sleep can be all-consuming and overwhelming, which is when feelings of inadequacy, isolation and loneliness can start to creep in.<\/p> Loneliness can affect people at all stages of life, including new mums who have just given birth and, while talking about loneliness may still feel taboo, it most certainly isn\u2019t uncommon.<\/p> \u201cI wish I'd known that other mums felt lonely too. I was quite isolated with my first and lacked the confidence to start up conversations at baby groups etc.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known how tired and lonely I'd feel. Your whole world has just changed and you need to change your priorities so that the baby and his needs come first.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d know how much I would cry in the first few weeks and that it was OK to do that.\u201d<\/em><\/p> In the early stages of parenting, it can sometimes be tricky to ask for help and, fundamentally, to recognise when you might need it.<\/p> Whether it\u2019s someone offering to make you a cuppa or a grandparent babysitting for an hour so that you can use the loo by yourself or take a shower, help comes in all shapes and sizes, and can be more beneficial than you may initially realise.<\/p> \u201cAccept the help you need early on if you're struggling. It doesn't make you a bad mum.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cTake every offer of help! Even if it's someone offering to make you a cup of tea. People genuinely want to help.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I\u2019d known to accept any help offered. I didn\u2019t and was exhausted as a result.\u201d<\/em><\/p> While most Mumsnetters describe first-time parenting as a huge shock to the system (no sugar coating here), they also acknowledge that eventually things do get better.<\/p> Remember that light at the end of the tunnel? Well, it most definitely exists in parenthood too.<\/p> Plus, sometimes babies just cry and there ain't nothing you can do about it.<\/p> \u201cThe first weeks were such a shock to the system and it felt like my whole world was upside down. But it got better.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI wish I'd known that the first couple of months would be such a huge shock to the system. I was not prepared for a baby that screamed nearly constantly, struggled to breastfeed, and struggled to sleep. It was brutal, not the picture-perfect image of motherhood I was expecting. But I also wish I'd known it was OK to find it hard and that it would change so quickly that by five months she would be a happy, smiley cheerful baby who feeds well from a bottle, sleeps well, and has her reflux under control with medicine!\u201d<\/em><\/p>1. Take time for yourself<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
2. Sleep whenever you can<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
3. Don\u2019t be ruled by guilt<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
4. Trust your instincts<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
2. Sleep whenever you can<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
3. Don\u2019t be ruled by guilt<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
4. Trust your instincts<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
5. Expensive doesn\u2019t always mean better<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
6. Babies don\u2019t need much<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
7. Muslins are handy for all eventualities<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
8. There are ways to minimise nappy-changing mess (yes, we\u2019re serious)<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
5. Expensive doesn\u2019t always mean better<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
6. Babies don\u2019t need much<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
7. Muslins are handy for all eventualities<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
8. There are ways to minimise nappy-changing mess (yes, we\u2019re serious)<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
9. All babies are different<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
9. All babies are different<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
10. There\u2019s no such thing as perfect parenting<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
11. You can say no to visitors<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
12. Breastfeeding doesn\u2019t work for everyone<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
10. There\u2019s no such thing as perfect parenting<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
11. You can say no to visitors<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
12. Breastfeeding doesn\u2019t work for everyone<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
13. New mums feel lonely too<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
14. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for help<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>
15. Know that this, too, shall pass<\/h2>
What parents say:<\/h3>